| (no subject) |
[Jul. 18th, 2009|03:37 am] |
|
hate my life, just for the record. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jul. 17th, 2009|07:22 pm] |
|
this is turning out to be harder than i would like it to be ahhhh! |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jul. 16th, 2009|11:24 pm] |
i'm hanging out with jon tomorrow =]
but i really hope i don't feel like this tomorrow cause i feel like i'm going to either throw up or die right now ahhhhhhh. we went to applebees tonight for stephens birthday and i ate more than i could so now i feel like shittttttt. but hopefully it's just cause i ate too much and i just need to digest or something lol. i don't know but i keep getting excited and that feeling when you get excited like when your heart jumps and it goes down to your stomach lol.. well that keeps happening to me and it's kinda making my stomach hurt a little bit more lol. also today in the car i said "my tum tum hurts hurts" but really i don't even know why that came out and i sounded so dumb but thankfully it was only stephen and tariq so we were all just cracking up lol. i think i'm gonna go to bed early cause i'm tired and feel like shit and i have to be up early for a cheerleading meeting tomorrow. so yeahhhh. maybe i'll just go to sleep likeeee.. now lol. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jul. 16th, 2009|06:02 pm] |
|
so my mom just asked me what is going on with me and jon and i said nothing and she said then why did you go down to raceway park to see him and i said it wasn't to see him it was cause marc invited me and melissa and melissa wasn't going so i felt bad. and then she was like yeah right so what's so special about him. and i said nothing is happening! but i was laughing OF COURSE. so she was like i don't care if you talk to him and if you're friends but if he touches you i'm going to kill him. ....damn uhh too late for that. and then she was like he's a lot older than you.. even though he probably acts younger than you. hahahaha my mom can be such a bitch. damn i was gonna tell her about it and explain a little and hope she'd be chill with it.. but doesn't look like that's gonna happen... |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jul. 16th, 2009|02:14 am] |
|
so i feel like shit cause my spleen has been extra enlarged today or some shit and it feels all bruised but that's not even the point... the point is i want to talk to him cause i think he's really cute and also he touched my butt today wooooo..... -___- . i just wanna hang out with him ! ... and i mean without my cousin and an entourage of our friends. yeahhhhh i need to go to bed. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jul. 15th, 2009|11:55 pm] |
|
so today randomly at like 5ish me and tariq had nothing to do so we drove down to jackson to see jon. and my cousin was still their so we hung out with my cousin marc, jon, and their friend rowan. we met up at the jackson outlets but they wanted dairy queen so then we went there and sat outside for like, two hours. it was pretty lame at first and i was kinda getting annoyed-ish cause i guess i was a little jealous that jon wasn't like completly focused on me hahaha. but then we walked back to the cars and we were all standing there for a while and it was just me and him on the one side and he was being all cute and stuff and he kissed me and then he called me a tease hahaha. he invited me to go along with them to the movie but i didn't want to impose lol. i don't know where this is going and i hate when i don't know things lol. i just want to hang out with him but i'm scared i'm still contagious. but whatever cause if i am he's going to have mono in 4 to 6 weeks. i'm an assholeeeee. i don't know maaaaaan. i mean he actually has a life haha he works and everything so i don't even know what's happening or when the next time i'm going to see him is gonna be. i don't know. ahh i'm like going crazyyyyy hahahaha. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jul. 15th, 2009|01:25 pm] |
i lost four pounds from yesterday to today. mono is actually ruining my body. wooooo. last night was really good though =]. it started off weird and i was being awkward and everything but then it got good lol. except i decided that the worst thing in the whole entire world to hear is "i would kiss you but you have mono". and then the feeling afterwards is horrible. hahaha. but then my cousin yelled from his car "she's not contagious anymore!" hahahahhahaa. then he kissed me =]. and then he asked when the next time he was going to see me was and i said whenever you want. i'm such an awkward person haha. but it was fun and me and my cousin have gotten a lot closer lately so that's good, too. it just kinda sucks cause my mom isn't exactly too crazy about the fact that he is 20 and my father doesn't even know about him at all. lol. and my sister is just an asshole in general so she isn't cool about it either. but whatever we'll see how it goes lol. and my cousin gave me the 'scoop' about him so from what he says he's a 'really good guy' lol. but yeahhhh lol i don't know. tomorrow is stephens birthday and we're having a little BBQ for him so that should be fun. and yeah i'm gonna go do something with my life now haha. adios!
|
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jul. 13th, 2009|01:11 pm] |
|
so last night i was a little annoyed about it all but right now i am actually really angry. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jul. 13th, 2009|01:55 am] |
infinityandahalf (1:52:43 AM): as long as it's not frankie i vote yes. haha
WOOOOOOOOO i feel so good right now hahahahaha
seriously i'm actually no lie done with frankie. it feels good hahaha. but i'm being a giddy little girl because that guy i met last night texted me today and asked me to chill on tuesday. and he's so fucking hottttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt. he was really sweet last night telling me how my eyes were beautiful haha. and he was mad funny, too. but! in all serious i don't really know him at all at the moment. and i'm thinking hanging out on tuesday is gonna be slightly awkward cause it's at raceway park and he's racing his car and all his friends are going to be there. and that would be cool if i knew them or they were in my age group... but jon is 20 and he's the youngest one. my cousin is gonna be there so that'll be cool. but my cousin is 22 and everyone else there is like over 22. and i asked kristen if she wanted to go but OBVI she's being a little fuck about it and i even told her to bring mike.. BUT whatevs. i'm excited. i hope i can actually go though. and how much does it cost to get it? it's cruise night... i don't know about any of this stuff lol.
so other than that my step grandpa had a sezeire today (i spelled that wrong) and he fell backwards into his pool fully clothed and whatnot. but he brushed it off and he went up and changed and then went back out to the porch to work on the yard some more. then my grandma was with him and she said his face looked really weird and then his eyes rolled back and he fell back into the rocks and had another sezeire. so then she called the ambulance and while they were on the way there he had a third sezeire. so that sucks and that's not good. and it's crazy cause i just saw him yesterday and we were talking and having a conversation and he was totally fine. shit like that is so weird.
stephens birthday is thursday and i really wanna make it a fun day cause his dad won't do anything for him. so i think this little gathering of close friends is gonna be good. we're all close and stuff so we can just chill out and swin and BBQ and drink. except me... i can't drink thank you mono. but whatevs i still think it'll be fun and whatnot. wooooo hoooooo
i made another ankle braclet cause i got bored. i don't know what to wear tuesday night! i'm getting all giddy again. this is so funny i haven't gotten butterflies like this in so long. i think i'm just intrigued cause he's older and cute and he's showing interest in me drunk AND sober hahaha. and he's the first guy in a while who is making efforts and not just so he can hook up with me. i told him i'm not bringing my sister and he was like my brother is tagging along.. as always. which i think is funny cause his brother jeremiah is like 24 and jon was explaining to me how he always "takes what i like". and it was weird. but i don't know i guess you have to be me. lololololololoolloloololololloloiolnbjdksfkdhdhs =] okay i'm doneeeee
nighttttt! |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jul. 12th, 2009|04:01 am] |
i went to the doctor today. they did another mono test and if it comes back negative then you get over it a lot quicker but if it comes back positive then you still have a long time until you even start to feel a little better. so i was sure it was going to come back negative considering i only had one bad night that i was sick... but OF COURSE it came back positive. so cheer camp is totally out of the question and i told him i start pre season practices august 3rd and he said we can make that a goal to see if i'm okay by then but he says i'll most likely still be sick and it's a viral infection so there is nothing i can do about it. SO i hate my life ten times more. and it also means i'm most likely going to get really sick again at some point. and i'm leaving for chicago on the 25 so and i won't be home till the 30 so i better not be sick out there.
anywayyy today i went to pennsylvania for my cousin marcs 22nd birthday lol. it actually was pretty fun. marc and all his friends got drunk and whatnot. my liver OF COURSE is enlarged and i can't drink until it goes back to normal size. whatever. but his one friend jon kept telling me i have really beautiful eyes and he was really fun and sweet and stuff =]. it was funny cause he took out his phone and was like i'm adding you on facebook. so he added me haha. and then he asked for my number so i gave it to him and i commented his facebook and was like "yoooooo you are next to me and i'm on your phone!" and then he texted me and was like "hi i'm next to you too on my phone" and it was really funny i guess you had to be there lol. and he was like texting me while we were sitting there and stuff haha but not in a weird way in like a fun way. and he winked at me lololololololololololololol like i don't know how to explain it hahaha. and then when i was leaving he texted me after i walked out of the house and was like "have a good night =]". and he's 20 so it's do-able haha. and he doesn't even live in pennsylvania he lives in jackson! AND he is always around here. i don't know i might be getting a little over excited haha but it's cause like.. i'm just done with frankie basically so now that i'm not like waiting around for him it feels good to just be like flirty with someone. even though nothing is going to happen most likely it's still fun for now lol. me and marc were bonding over how much we can't stand our cousin elizabeth lol. and elizabeth brought her stupid friend and she was literally like.. 12 maybe and she's walking around in these tiny shorts and this tiny cami and it was gross and her voice was so squeeky i guess she didn't hit puberty yet or something but holy shit she was so obnoxious. so whenever elizabeth left we would just make fun of her hahaha. it was mean but whateverrrrr lol. oh and jons brother jeremiah was there and he knew people from metuchen so it was kinda fun just like hearing the names we both knew haha. and he knows all the people at raceway who i work with sometimes. so jeremiah was really drunk and starts talking to me about his ex girlfriend who is really stupid aparently lol. he kept telling me stories and i felt bad so i was like listening to him and whatever lol idk. marc works with this gay kid who brought along his friend or boyfriend or something but they were really nice and i was talking to them a lot when we were outside around the fire cause elizabeth was bothering me. but yeah they were funny as hell. i really didn't have a bad time. and it got me out of my house lol.
so it was an alright day. the night was good but the morning sucked. and i slept the whole afternoon. wwwwoooorrrrddddd! i'm going to bed now. it is 4:21 and i really should be asleep. lol |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jul. 8th, 2009|11:47 pm] |
..............thanks
sikeeee |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jul. 7th, 2009|08:59 pm] |
i am so fat holy shit. mono is really making my weight go crazy. i started getting really sick sunday night. it's lovely. really. -___- i burnt my finger lighting a fire cracker on sunday also. and since i pretty much can't do anything, i couldn't go to any fourth of july parties. so instead i went to a party at my moms co-workers house in pennsylvania. we didn't stay that long cause i inevitably got really tired, really fast. however her co-worker, billy, is probably the funniest man i've ever encountered. his two year old son shouts "beer!" whenever he see's beer. then billy got my mom to play beer pong. so me and my mom were a team and we played against him and one of his neighbors. since my liver is enlarged, guess who wasn't allowed to drink. so another one of his neighbors stepped in and was the 'designated drinker' for me. it was lame but they were all friendly. billy is a maniac with the fireworks. some of them fell down on me. apparently they spent 2500 dollars in fireworks. my mom stole two haha. a few of them shared their mono stories with me. i got to pet two really cute dogs. saw a stroller catch on fire. met some friendly old people. it really wasn't that bad. would've been better if i was home with my own friends, but whaaaaadya gonna do.
in other news, i was bored last night and designed a cake i'm going to bake. three tiers. i have no idea when i'm actually going to get the strength to do this, however. i also decided i'm going to clean out my closet. i have this big closet in my hallway that i just threw everything in one day..... like a year ago. it's just been sitting there. bags of clothes and shoes and other crap. i don't have anything to do really, so i think i'm going to tackle it one day this week. i have so many clothes in there. i opened the closet the other day and i just glanced down and found a few things i totally forgot i even had. and once i clean it all out i'm going to feel really accomplished haha. so more news... i'm annoyed with that stupid dumb bitch miss. medvigy. she stepped down as the cheer coach and now it's miss. spence. which is cool and everything but miss. medvigy is retarded and put me on a different list than everyone else because of my knee.. why? ..so now i'm just confused about the whole thing. and it's really frustrating. and more news.. today was michael jacksons memorial and oh my god how sad. i kept it together until brooke shields spoke, then i teared up. but when his daughter paris said that at the very end i totally lost it. i was balling. no joke, just sitting on my couch alone crying. my dogs were looking at me like i was retarded or something, haha. sooooo more news.. laura called me today while she was at the airport. she's going home and being grounded forever due to getting charged with underage drinking. that girl is not smart lol. she's really smart in school, but she has no common sense whatsoever. i love her, but how dumb can you be. she knew the place she was at was really sketchy, she was already there for a few hours, and she was bored, so you'd think when she got a ten minute warning that the cops were on their way she'd walk across the street with her friends to the dennys that was there. whatevs man. so now she's grounded for the rest of her life. she has a court date in a month and her parents are just going to kill her more after whatever happens there. alrightttt well im done and i'm going to go eat ice cream cause i am so fucking fat already what's one more bowl to help me get through this miserable time in my life? -____- |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jul. 2nd, 2009|10:18 pm] |
my body aches and i have a lot of things i need to get off my chest.
my dad went to the doctor today and she told him he is about to have a heart attack. so he was sent to the hospital where he was treated disrespectfully, and my selfish sister can't seem to answer the phone when i am trying to find out if he is okay. and my mother is an asshole and i don't care if you're seperated from my father you should still care for my sake. whatever. he's fine, so that's good. but this whole having mono thing is really getting old. i've been on the couch for a week straight, and i have three more to go? i can't take it. i am actually going crazy. i was invited to go to the outer banks with alexa and her family in two weeks. me and tariq were going to drive down.. but thanks to mono this is pretty much not really going to happen. my mother is so convinced that just being away from home is going to make my spleen burst. WELLLLLLL mom....... being in the outer banks with alexa and her family is probably almost safer considering you sleep all day and work all night, dad works all day and sleeps all night, and melissa is out all day enjoying her summer. alexa's family would pay ten times more attention to me then i am getting at my own house. AND can everyone STOP writing "going to the beach!" on your status on facebook PLEASE. i really do not give a fuck and you can all have fun laying out and going in the water while i get to stay on my couch and be miserable for the next month. AND to top it all off.. i BARLEY feel sick. i'm a little tired, and just a little weak. BUT i'm taking my medicine, i've been resting, i haven't had a fever yet. and it's not like i am five years old. i am capable of taking care of myself. i'm not going to drink because i already know my liver is enlarged at the moment and it would be a bad combination. i'm not going to smoke (that much) because the doctor told me it wouldn't be the best choice. i'm not going to go in the water..... past my knees. i'll sleep when i'm tired. like CAN I PLEASE JUST HAVE MY SUMMER... please? holy shit. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 29th, 2009|11:02 pm] |
i need some excitement in my life. everybody is getting tattoos and it's making me want one baaaaad. i could be like amelia and just get one, but then again she hates all hers. i could be like my sister and wait till i turn 18, but that seems so long. i could be like shaun and just ''dilly dally', but i don't like 'dilly dally-ers'. it's not even a tattoo i really want. i just want a change. whenever i used to be like this i would dye my hair. but my hair is almost entirely grown out and there is no way hair dye is coming anywhere near my head until i start going gray. i used to get a hair cut, too. but my hair is so short already, for me. i could get a new piercing.. but i don't know about that. my mom won't let me get anything on my face. i already have my belly button. i have seven in my ears. i feel like i have enough piercings. so now i don't know what to do. i need the beach. i need to clear my head. i need to talk to frankie. i need to not have mono. i need my spleen to not be enlarged. i need to cheer. i need to work out. i need to get blood work done. friday i cleaned my room. it started to hurt when i swallowed but i was ignoring it. around 11:30 i decided to look at the back of my throat. i saw disgusting white dots covering my tonsils. yum. i ran down the stairs yelling "I HAVE STREP" to my mom. then i went to bed. then i woke up and vacumed my room. then my mom and i went to stop and shop and ordered a tray of shrimp for my sisters graduation party. then we went to the doctor and they did a strep test. he came back and said it was negative. so i was like oh good can i just have an antibiotic. and then he said he needed to do a mono test. so i was like okay but it's going to be negative. so they poke me and take my blood. he came back ten minutes later and came in the room and closed the door and was just like "...yeahhhh so it came back positive." i literally threw my hands in the air and started going on a 'what the fuck' rampage. and then i cried. then me and my mom went to dairy queen. got some ice cream. got in the car. cried some more. went home, told my dad, cried a lot more. i had to keep it a secret though cause all my family was here for my sisters graduation party and my mom didn't want them to know cause she spent almost a thousand dollars on catered food and another thousand on other shit for my sisters party and whatnot. so we told my sister and shaun about it today and my sister of course being over dramatic told me i have to quarentine myself. i don't think i spelled that word right. whatever. so i pained three pictures today, cried again, ate a little. what i just don't get is: 1. how did i get this? 2. WHY? 3 WHY NOW? 4. what did i do to deserve this ahhhhhhhh 5. sdlkjdfslgjfkljgfkl. whateverrrrr. so i was thinking about it and i need to talk to frankie. like, all the other times i've 'gotten out' what i needed to say it would mainly just be like me upset over something he said and then didn't do and whatnot. but now i'm just going to say every single thing in my head that has anything to do with him. and he needs to hear it. and i need to get it out of my friggin head. laura is in boston and i was planning to go see her but with my fucking mono it's going to be almost impossible. she's going to be there for two weeks so hopefully i'll stop being contagious by the end of this week and then shaun and my sister can take me up there. that's what i'm hoping. but yanno, my life does suck.
my sisters graduation party was yesterday. we made it kinda a big deal because she's the first cousin to graduate on my dads side, and the first girl cousin to graduate on my moms side. my mom made a little speach and it in she made a comment how melissa was their 'miracle child'. so the whole day i was getting the "she was the miracle child so what does that make you? the mistake." comment. i mean, it was all a joke. but i heard it over and over. i made my sister a video slide show thing of her life starting from her baby pictures and i added in music and whatnot and by the end of it my grandma was balling and all my aunts were balling. everyone kept coming up to me about how great it was. i really did appreciate it cause i worked on it for so long.
i don't knowwww ahhhhhh. i'm gonnaaa stop writing now. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 29th, 2009|01:07 am] |
|
i'm on steroids for the mono.. and the medicine tastes like shit. it has a coating or something on it that's all chalky and it tastes so nasty. i had to take SIX today. like really just fuck my lifeeeeeeeeeeeeee. i'm so angry and my summer is ruined. THANK YOU AND GOOOOOODNIGHTTTTTTT. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 27th, 2009|05:22 pm] |
i hate my life
i have mono
my summer is ruined
FUCKKKKKKKK everythinggggggg |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 25th, 2009|01:22 am] |
i am actually an asshole. but it's okay. i have so much shit i have to get off my chest. my mom went into my school today to see my spanish teacher. she really intimidates him, lol. she asked him if i passed and he said i did good on the final (really?), and although i didn't do much homework he said i was strong in other areas (what other areas?). but whatever, i passed for the year. which is a huge weight lifted off my shoulders cause i was pretty sure i was do0o0oo0omed. anyway i just spent like a half hour trying on all my bathing suits. ewwwwww. i just spent like i don't even know how long on this flawz website. it's 3:25 holy shittttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt. something just made me happy. =]
i'm going to bed now ...and i'm NOT wearing my retainer! first time i haven't worn it! i would.. i just don't feel like going all the way downstairs to get it lol. whatevssss.. night! (morning?) |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 23rd, 2009|10:48 pm] |
today started summer...... OF COURSE i am sick but i don't even care cause for the longest time the title took last song off their myspace and purevolume and they're not big so it wasn't on youtube or limewire and i could not find it ANYWHERE but they put it back on!! i don't know if anyone understands how big that is for me hahaha it's like, no joke, in my top 5 favorite songs..ever. so catchyyyy hahaha. anywayyyyy i slept a lot today and then i watched the real housewives of new jersey reunion part one haha. i worked out for a little today and i think that's what made me sick.. cause it was hot out and my knee was already bothering me to begin with and i am an asshole. whatevs lol. skmddkdslcdsdbfdbnfdlkjcjskj it's summmerrrrrr!
he graduates on friday :/ |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 21st, 2009|12:36 pm] |
I need some place simple where we could live
And something only you can give
And that's faith and trust and peace while we're alive
And the one poor child who saved this world
And there's ten million more who probably could
If we all just stopped and said a prayer for them |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
kimx3's journal
